Irrational Love
by Disco Ant
Summary: Thirteen : Chapter three of a story where Lupin loses what is most important to him, something he never even really had.
1. Chapter 1

**Fujiko's Pleasure**

Outside it was cold and rainy, but inside the small cottage the roaring fire made the whole space warm and cozy.

Jigen and Goemon sat in the small living space, both playing against each other in a fighting game while Lupin was in the shower, which was off the bedroom that Fujiko was asleep in.

Turning the water off, Lupin stepped out of the stall and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around him and heading into the bedroom to grab some clothes.

He opened the closet and pulled a shirt off a hanger, looking over his shoulder as Fujiko lay on her back.

Her arms and legs were sprawled out, the shirt she wore hiked up, Lupin grinning in perverted fashion as he could see the bottom part of her breasts.

"You're lucky I have that meeting," he muttered as he headed to the dresser and grabbed some boxers, socks and a pair of pants, taking all the items back with him to the bathroom.

Quickly throwing on his clothes, he left the bathroom, grabbing his tie from the doorknob and standing in front of the wall mirror to put it on.

He paused as low moans drowned out a lapping sound, turning to see the mastiff they had taken in licking Fujiko, who moaned from the pleasurable touch.

"Oh, Lupin," she mumbled in her sleep, repeating his name in between moans as the dog continued to lick her.

Lupin became aroused by the sight, finding himself breathless as he watched Fujiko writhe and moan in pleasure.

"Oh, god, Lupin, yes," she moaned loudly as her hands clenched at the sheets.

The dog stopped licking her, stepping back as he smelled one of her hands as it grasped and clutched at the fabric.

"Don't stop," she begged.

"Yeah, don't stop," Lupin said under his breath as he clutched the edge of the dresser, his legs getting weak as he tried to fight his impulses.

It was then at that moment when his pleasured look turned to one of great confusion as Fujiko grasped at the object closest to her, bringing it to her lips and kissing it.

"What the hell?" he wondered, his horny state quickly killed.

He continued to watch, the longer it went on the more comical it was as Fujiko made out with the rubber chicken in her hands, sticking her tongue in its mouth as she moaned.

Lupin clapped his hands over his mouth to keep from laughing.

He no longer cared that the dog was once again licking her, slobbering all over her pale skin as her moans and cries got louder. All he could see was her tonguing a rubber chicken.

Unable to take anymore, he burst from the room, closing the door behind him and exploding in laughter, leaning against the wall as he pounded on it with a clenched fist.

Jigen and Goemon stared at him, confused but not wanting to know, both then glancing at each other shortly before resuming their game.

The noise stirred Fujiko, who sat up in bed. She lifted the hand that held the rubber chicken and stared at it in confusion. "What is..." She tossed it off to the side and then reached up and touched her face. "Why is my face all slobbery?" she wondered in disgust as she slid out of bed and to the bathroom.

On her way she glanced down at the mastiff, who was curled up and acting fast asleep. Shaking her head, she stepped in the bathroom and closed the door.

----------

After that night Lupin would randomly say the words "rubber chicken" whenever Fujiko looked as though she was about to screw them over.

That the words caused her to behave in an odd fashion confused Jigen and Goemon, but neither one really wanted to know, both just glad that they actually got to keep a portion of their haul after their random heists.

* * *

And so ends my FujikoxMastiffxRubber Chicken story, which I was going to put in the summary, but figured it'd ruin the surprise. xD And even though the whole point of this is spoiled and you now know what to expect, I was thinking of making this some lame little series. But that will all depend on if people liked this and want to read more. So, comment and let me know what you think. :3


	2. Chapter 2

As people who know me know, not much disturbs me. Well, this story came close to doing just that, so I guess that's some sort of warning as to what's ahead. xD

* * *

**It'll Fit...**

Fujiko sat on the couch of the apartment, one of the smaller hideouts Lupin owned in an out-of-the-way town is Spain.

Staring down at her hands, she ran the nail file gently over her misshapen nails, working to get them perfect once again as the television set played some Spanish soaps.

Her eyes glanced every so often at the arguing couple in the soap, not understanding enough of the language to get sucked in.

"She's probably just some drunk whore anyway," she scoffed. "Pedro should dump her ass and date that waitress that he stares at all the time."

She laughed as Pedro slapped the woman and insulted her.

"About damn time," she mumbled, blowing off her nails and looking at them proudly.

Her eyes slowly moved their way upwards, away from her nails and towards the television set, staring at it blankly as yelling in the other room now had her full attention.

------------

"We aren't doing it, Goemon," Jigen yelled, their once civil discussion now a full blown argument.

"And why not?!" Goemon wondered in a bratty manner.

"Because it isn't going to work, that's why!"

"Are you denying my big fat cock?!" Goemon growled.

"Yeah, I am! And for the reason that it is too big and fat!"

------------

Fujiko gasped as her body got hot, the conversation that got progressively more intriguing turning her on.

------------

"Big and fat is perfect, though!" Goemon yelled. "The more meat you have the better!"

"First of all, the hole is too small. Second, you try and shove that thing in you're gonna get blood everywhere and I'm not cleaning it up! And third, there would be infections and everything would end up too painful! Ever think about that?!"

"No, I haven't! Because it'll fit in fine! I think you're just scared!"

"Scared?!" Jigen scoffed. "Scared of what?"

"Scared that I'll be right and you'll be wrong!"

"Fine! You want to prove your little theory right? Go ahead. Just take it and shove it right in there, Goemon! We'll just see how wrong you are!"

------------

Fujiko turned red from embarrassment as various forms of grunts and odd noises filled the next room. The constant banging on the wall almost brought her over the edge when suddenly everything turned quiet.

She quickly acted like she was enthralled in her soap opera when she heard footsteps stomping towards her from the short hallway.

"And you can clean the mess up by yourself!" Jigen yelled as he stomped through the living room and towards the door.

Fujiko glanced at him and then did a double take as he was covered in feathers, which dropped from his clothing and fluttered to the floor.

"I told you it would fit!" Goemon gloated as he came from the hall holding up a small metal cage, a big, fat and half bald rooster sitting and looking stupid inside.

Fujiko stared at the cage, finally realizing the reality of everything she heard. "Oh...." she said, now even more embarrassed as she turned her head from Goemon, who gave her an uninterested look before stomping back down the hall.

* * *

I've been hyper and in a great mood lately from lack of sleep. =D Also, everything was funny last night when I got the idea for this. And it was all thanks to a clip of a badly subtitled hentai, which both made me laugh and greatly disturbed me as it looked like a kids show, involved people who looked like kids and the main guys twisted insane face reminded me of Zenigata for some odd reason. And the guy seemed to turn old by the end of the clip, which was bizarre. But anyway.... xD


	3. Chapter 3

I really don't know how the conversation I was having made me think of this, but it did. And it's all your fault! D: -points to guilty party- Enjoy the shortness. :D (Heh, haven't been here in so long I almost didn't know my password.)

* * *

**They're Perfect  
**

Lupin wandered out of his room, heading towards the kitchen. He stopped, a grin coming to his face, a small trickle of drool escaping the corner of his mouth as he stared down at Fujiko's breasts.

'God, they're so perfect,' he thought as he slurped up the drool, unable to take his eyes off them as he walked up to get a closer look.

His hands reached out, gripping the firm mounds gently, faint moans filling his ears.

The moans got louder as he massaged the breasts, using his seasoned hands to cover every important part of the flesh.

"Oh god!" was blurted out as he squeezed them slightly, getting a firm grasp on them.

The moaning continued, Lupin reaching down and grasping the hard cylinder before him, his hand gripping it tightly and firmly, every moan causing his grip to tighten a little more until he slammed his hand down, the white substance held within squirting all over the wall.

"Damn it, Jigen!" Lupin blurted out as he tossed the clear squirt tube of mayonnaise off to the side. "How in the hell as I supposed to concentrate on my cooking when you're watching porn?!"

Jigen only grinned and shrugged.

"Fujiko went out of her way to pick up this chicken, which is never gonna to get done and then we're all just gonna starve to death!" he yelled as he started to wipe off the wall, not wanting Fujiko to see the mess he made.

Jigen only rolled his eyes, Lupin always acting the drama queen.

Lupin muttered obscenities under his breath as he finished seasoning the chicken and tossed it in the hot pan


	4. Chapter 4

The original went beyond the M rating requirements or whatever, so I toned one scene down. It still gets the point across, but still.... -weeps for my wonderfully poetic two sentences I replaced-

Why must I come up with these really weird ideas? Ones which probably won't make sense to anyone reading... xD

* * *

**Well, That Was... Weird  
**

Fujiko walked into the bedroom where Lupin was sleeping. She smiled at him on the bed, all sprawled out in his boxers, the blankets having been kicked off onto the floor.

He muttered something she couldn't understand. He then let out a small perverted laugh.

Fujiko rolled her eyes, not really wanting to know what he was dreaming of, but knowing anyway.

Lupin's dreams mainly focused on sex. And most of those starred Fujiko. She only knew this because Lupin liked to share his erotic dreams with her, hoping the two could recreate them. It never happened, but he still tried.

He began to moan in his sleep and Fujiko found herself in another bedroom. She looked around and saw Goemon asleep in his bed. She smiled as she wondered what he dreamt about, Goemon never one to share those types of things with the others.

She looked over as the door opened, a sleepwalking Lupin wandering in, mumbling something about wanting Fujiko to come back.

She gasped as he made his way to Goemon's bed, grabbing the blankets and pulling them off him, exposing the samurai in nothing but his underwear.

Lupin got an evil smile on his face as he crawled onto the bed, laying up next to Goemon and covering his back with kisses.

Fujiko was shocked, but she did have to admit that it was kind of sexy.

Goemon stirred slightly, a soft moan escaping his lips as he smiled.

Lupin clumsily turned Goemon on his stomach. He then removed his boxers.

Unfortunately for Fujiko she only got the back view and for some reason she couldn't seem to move to get a side view of the action.

Before she knew it both men were naked and Lupin was getting down to business. He growled in pleasure, his fingers digging into Goemon's torso.  
Goemon's fingers clawed at the bed, his nails scratching the sheets as he moaned in pleasure.

Fujiko stood and watched until a bright light filled the room.

...............

Goemon woke up, immediately looking around in confusion. "What is...?" He sat up and glanced down at his legs, which were covered in some sort of white sticky substance.

Confused, he ran his finger through one of the spots, bringing it to his nose and sniffing, finally running his tongue over his finger. "Mmm, sweet," he said as he smiled from the taste, realizing what it was, but still confused.

He decided he didn't like the feeling of the sweetness covering him, also feeling it on his back, so he decided he needed a shower to cleanse himself of the nastiness.

The shower was quick and after he was fully dressed he left his room, joining Lupin and Jigen at the table for tea.

Lupin was busy trying to convince Jigen that he could stuff a loaf of bread in his mouth, Jigen enjoying the reaction he got when he said Lupin was full of shit.

Goemon glanced at the two and smiled. It was annoying, but if it were anything different then it wouldn't be Lupin and Jigen, two friends he was glad he had.

The three looked over as Fujiko left her room and started towards them.

"What's with you?" Lupin asked, annoyed by her seemingly good mood.

"You guys wouldn't believe the dream I had," she laughed, giving Lupin and Goemon amusing looks.

"Yeah..." Lupin didn't seem to care. "By the way, were you the one who took my glazed eclair?"

"Oh, so that's what I slept with," Goemon said.

The three looked at him in confusion as the room grew silent, Goemon oblivious to their stares as he sipped his tea.

Getting the sensation he was being stared at, Goemon opened his eyes, giving them all a blank stare. "What?" he wondered, never once thinking anything was weird about the situation.


	5. Chapter 5

The original idea seemed too tame, so I made it weirder. =D Yay weirdness! Oh, it's also more disturbing. xD

* * *

**Disturbing Stuff....ing  
**

Lupin sat on the couch watching the TV, his eyes staring blankly at it. Nearby sat Fujiko, paying more attention to the girly magazine she was reading. And in the other room, but still in view, was Jigen, sitting at the table and cleaning his gun.

A few minutes later Goemon walked out from one of the back rooms. He seemed different, more proud as he strutted to the couch and sat down.

He glanced around, no one saying anything.

Annoyed, he stood up, walking through the room and past Jigen to get some water.

Jigen sniffed the air as Goemon passed, an odd look on his face. Shrugging it off, he returned to his cleaning.

Goemon grabbed a glass and filled it. He set it on the counter.

'Maybe it's my extraordinarily huge pants...' he thought.

Setting the glass on the counter, he stretched. His pants tightened some, but still nobody seemed to care.

He stared down in sadness and sighed, grabbing his glass and returning to the couch.

It was then Lupin's turn to sniff the air, his eyes slowly looking around as he tried to figure out the source of the awesome smell.

His eyes stopped at Goemon's bulging crotch, staring at it with a smile on his face.

"Nice package," he purred. "It smells wonderful."

Goemon blushed a little, but gave a small nod of thanks.

Fujiko and Jigen stopped what they were doing and stared at the couch.

"God, what I wouldn't give to get my hands on that." Lupin let out an evil laugh, looking ready to pounce.

Goemon backed away slightly, but he was defenseless as Lupin jumped him, shoving him down onto the couch and struggling to get Goemon's pants off.

Fujiko and Jigen now watched in disgust as Lupin went down on Goemon.

Goemon gasped as he clawed at the couch, wanting to stop it, but finding the experience too enlightening.

'Maybe using Cheetos was a bad idea,' he thought as a groan escaped his lips, Lupin slurping and chomping up every one he could see.

"Oh god, this is good!" Lupin said as he raised slightly for air.

Fujiko and Jigen's eyes now twitched, yet they couldn't look away from the somewhat exhilarating scene.

'I wonder if Lupin would do that to me,' they both thought as they grew more and more horny by the second.

Lupin rose up, staring down and spotting a large Cheeto he had missed. "Ooh, missed one," he said happily with a large smile on his face.

"No, Lupin, that's not-" Goemon stopped, too shocked to do anything but lay there.

Lupin rose up, looking down with a look of pure excitement on his cheese covered face. "Wow! This one even has a salty filling!"

Goemon heard nothing else, the sexual pleasure too much for him to take as he fainted.

* * *

xD I enjoy stupid and hungry Lupin. He makes me laugh.

How did this idea even enter my head? xD I know Cheetos were mentioned and Lupin. But how did those two things make me think "Lupin.... Cheetos.... Goemon stuffing Cheeots in his man thong to get a bigger bulge! =D"? My head is like some kind of bizarro world... But it's fun. x3

And this story ended up so totally out of character, as Goemon actually embraces the Cheetos, when everyone knows he faints from the pure horror of their presence.


	6. Chapter 6

A rewrite of the third chapter, or part of it, to my Certifiable story.

Talking to Intoxicated Gnu, one of us got the idea of something about strawberry stuff. I think it was me. Sounds like me. So, I decided to actually write this thing which started out as some lameness, melding two ideas from two stories together to create something insane and stupid.

Ah, RhymeZone, you're my internet buddy. x3

* * *

The next day Jigen returned to find Fujiko taking over his cave, the one she had so despised. She had tossed out some of the things he had collected on his jungle travels, Jigen picking them up as he stood outside the entrance.

"Bitch..." he said as he clenched the small items in his hands. He had always hated lesbians.

Jigen was silent as Fujiko allowed him entrance to the cave, the place Jigen once called home. He was silent when he crawled inside to find it had been Fujiko-ized, his eye twitching at the sad attempts of interior decor. Lesbian decor.

'The worst kind ever,' he thought as he threw up in his mouth a little.

His cave made him happy. It was where he could get high and privately jack off to mental pictures of a naked Goemon, but now it was all gone.

"Since you made this bed you can make another for yourself," Fujiko said as she continued to tidy the place up.

"Yeah," Jigen said, his voice devoid of emotion. He was saddened, as he thought that maybe he and Fujiko could share the bed.

She had to come around sometime.

'Bitch doesn't know what she's missing out on,' he thought as he sulked away. 'Tonight I'll make sure she won't be able to resist me.'

He gathered what he needed, dragging back soaked leaves and grass, Fujiko pointing him to the back wall of the cave, the place farthest away from the fire.

And like someone grateful to be given a warm place to stay he went, laying out the wet material and forming a bed that he found wasn't as comfortable as his old bed, the bed he had kept together with his special junk.

Over the next two days Fujiko still showed no interest in Jigen.

Jigen couldn't understand it. His unique manliness was even enough to give Goemon a boner. But two nights of caressing his donkey until it puked didn't even seem to phase Fujiko.

'Maybe... maybe she's immune,' he questioned.

No, that couldn't be. Nobody was immune to that. Not even Zenigata.

Jigen smiled at the thought.

He loved his special gift.

Fujiko continued to annoy him, though.

She constantly nagged him when he'd bring home things she disliked.

"Goddammit, Jigen!" she screamed as she spit out sandy water. "You have done nothing as of yet to satisfy me! You're useless, you know that?"

'Nothing?' he thought. 'There has to be a way... She must have some weakness.'

He continued to do the things that displeased her, all the while thinking she had to give at some point.

And until that point came, he would be her slave, her whipping boy.

'Mmm, whips.' He got hard just at the thought.

"Jigen," she said with a raised voice, breaking him from his erotic thoughts. "I told you these fish are too small! And my water isn't completely clean! See that? Sand! I'm not drinking sand, Jigen! And I'm not eating this!"

He looked down at the cooked fish she tossed at his feet.

She was starting to get to him. He was going to make her see him as the awesome manly form he was.

"Go back out and catch something with meat on it!"

"So, it's meat you want, huh?" Finally, the perfect moment had come. Jigen tried to contain his excitement, causing an evil looking grin to come over his face.

"Yeah, Jigen, I can't survive on fish bones and scales! Maybe you can, but I-" She stopped when he slowly walked towards her. "What... what are you...?"

"Meat!" he sang out happily as he ripped his pants and boxers off, exposing himself to her.

Fujiko gasped at the sight of his perfectly shaped and rock hard naughty bits.

"Jigen, what are you doing?" she said in shock.

"I'm giving you what you want," he said as he grabbed her hair, forcing her face to his quaking caterpillar.

"Smell it!" he demanded. "Smell the greatness!"

She tried to fight it off, but couldn't for much longer. Not with his soldier standing at attention before her.

She took in a small amount of air through her nose, shocked by what she smelled.

The sweet smell of her favorite fruit, the smell she thought she had only been imagining as she craved to have what she couldn't, that smell was really coming from him.

"Jigen," she moaned. "I... I never knew..."

"You want it, don't you?" he asked in a crazed manner. "You can't resist my strawberry lovin'!"

Jigen was right. Fujiko couldn't resist it.

And so she dove in, her mouth soon full of obelisk. Strawberry obelisk.

She loved it, her mouth muscle circling his powerful steeds muzzle, mucus mixed with horse snot making her body tremble with lust.

Jigen moaned in pleasure as a lone tear of joy ran down his face.

It was all he wanted. The last person close to him that had refused his specialness for so long, now she was a slave to it.

"Oh, god, Fujiko, I'm gonna...." He could say no more as a loud moan came, strawberry milk bursting forth from his pole.

This delighted Fujiko. It was better than sandy water. It was better than even strawberry milk.

She sucked like a newborn at his third nipple, savoring the sweet taste.

Grabbing his wooly globes she squeezed and pulled, milking her golden calf.

Jigen could only moan and gasp.

"Gimme more, damn you," Fujiko demanded of his magic pillar of greatness.

"Hey Fujiko," he said between gasps. "How about we fuck now?"

"No!" she screamed, her lips once again returning to his towering column.

"But, Fujiko, I can-"

"I said no, dammit! Now give me more of what I want, you little shit!"

Jigen looked on with sadness as Fujiko once again began sucking and squeezing away at his dagger.

She had become a slave, all right. But a slave not to him.

She was now in bondage to his sweet juices. The juices she now needed more than anything.

Jigen laid down on the rocky ground and sighed, a lone and saddened tear forming in his eye.

He would never get what he wanted. He would never get to enter his stalagmite into Fujiko's cave. Fujiko's dark, damp, unexplored cave.

Jigen silently wept as Fujiko continued taking long drags from his cigar.


	7. Chapter 7

I love starting stories out like this because, honestly, aren't all of Lupin's plans just fucking brilliant? I mean, seriously. But anyway, yay for kind of sort of rape stories! :D Won't be as brilliant as the last story, but nothing can beat that brilliance. Sweet home grown brilliance. Nothing beats it. Uh, I guess I'm done being stupid. Puppies! D:(

* * *

It was all part of Lupin's great plan.

'Great plan my ass,' Jigen mentally grumbled as he sat in the back seat of a patrol car, his lip busted and his left eye black and swollen.

Zenigata glanced at him in the rear view mirror as he drove.

"I'm filing a report against your goons," Jigen said as he glared at the man's image.

Zenigata only laughed at this. He knew Jigen didn't have a case.

"Yeah, laugh now, little shit," he muttered under his breath.

'I finally have him,' Zenigata smirked as he pulled up to the station, parking the car in the back and grabbing Jigen roughly, yanking him from the car and pushing him forward.

"God dammit," Jigen growled as he glanced behind him.

"Take him to interrogation room two," Zenigata told an officer.

The officer nodded and led Jigen to the room.

"Sit down," the officer demanded.

'At least he tells me what to do,' Jigen thought as he sat.

His hands were uncuffed, which he thought was a careless move by the officer. "I could have killed you then, you know," he said.

"Huh?" the officer wondered.

"You left me with both my hands free." Jigen mentally groaned. 'Why am I helping this guy?' he wondered.

"Oh, shit, you're right," the officer said, shocked by the dumb mistake he made. "My mind hasn't been on the job, much, lately. Problems at home."

"I could care less," Jigen said. "Just thought it was a stupid move."

"Yeah, thanks," the officer said with a nervous smile.

Jigen then lifted up his still free hands. "I could have killed and disemboweled you by now."

"Oh!" The officer scrambled to put separate cuffs on each wrist, then cuff those to the table so his hands were about two feet in front of him and three feet apart. He then did the same to Jigen's feet, making sure the prisoner was secure.

Both looked back as the door behind them opened, Zenigata walking in.

"Prisoner is secure, Inspector," the officer said.

"Good. I'd like to be alone with him."

"Yes, sir." The officer turned and left the room.

"I'm not going to talk, so I don't see you're point in all of this," Jigen said as he stared blankly in front of him.

Zenigata closed the door and locked it. He then walked over and unplugged the camera in the corner.

"You're not here to talk, Jigen," Zenigata said as he walked to the other side of the table and leaned down.

"Wow, what a relief," Jigen said sarcastically.

"You know why you're here," Zenigata said with an evil grin.

"You're gonna finish what your goon squad started?"

"No. It's nothing like that."

Jigen watched as Zenigata walked around the table, tensing as the Inspector bent down to whisper in his ear.

"It's you I want," Zenigata had whispered.

"Huh?" Jigen looked around nervously.

Zenigata grabbed the back of Jigen's jacket and lifted him up, slamming him down onto the metal table.

"It's your smell," Zenigata said. "It's been driving me crazy ever since yesterday."

Jigen tried to raise up, but found he was being held down. "M-my smell?"

"Don't play dumb, Jigen. You know what I'm talking about."

Jigen tensed, butterflies filling him as Zenigata leaned over his back and started smelling his neck. The smelling then turned into licking and kissing, the moisture brought forth from his salivary glands bringing out Jigen's sweet scent.

Jigen looked around frantic. "Hey. Hey! Get me out of here! He's crazy!"

"They can't hear you, Jigen," Zenigata laughed as he draped Jigen's jacket over his head.

"Hey, come on, man, this isn't right."

Zenigata grinned, the fear in Jigen's voice turning him on even more. He grabbed Jigen's shirt and pulled it from his pants, continuing the motion and lifting it up, exposing the gunman's back.

It was pale and smooth. 'Like a childs,' Zenigata thought as his pants tightened.

"What's the matter, Jigen? Don't like it when you're not in control?"

"No, I don't like it when people fuck with my mind."

"Oh, don't worry, it won't be your mind I'll be fucking," Zenigata said with an evil laugh.

A sickness came over Jigen. If he weren't such a man he would have started weeping like a girl.

Zenigata sniffed down Jigen's back as his hands made his way to Jigen's crotch, rubbing his man bits roughly as he began to cover his back in light kisses.

"This isn't happening," Jigen said, his voice strained as the sexual stimulation was too much.

"Too bad for you it is," Zenigata said through muffled voice as his lips kissed down Jigen's back.

His hands now undid Jigen's belt before unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. Grabbing the sides of both his pants and boxers he roughly pulled both down.

Jigen shivered as he was now exposed, the room being colder than he had remembered it.

Zenigata moaned as he grabbed Jigen's rod and started stroking it, that action alone making the whole room smell faintly like strawberries.

Jigen tried not to like it, but he did. He liked it too much to hold anything in as he moaned and gasped with every rough stroke.

His moaning than froze as he felt something begin to push against his ass.

Zenigata smirked and with his free hand he undid his zipper, pulling his stiff rooster out and slowly petting it.

"You want it, don't you?" Zenigata said in an evil teasing manner.

"N-no," Jigen said, pushing the word out as he was close to having a brain spazz.

Zenigata closed his eyes and exhaled loudly as both hands now moved quicker and harder.

"Oh, god, Zenigata, I-I'm gonna... I'm gonna come."

"No, hold it in."

"B-but... I-I don't think..."

"I said hold it in!"

Jigen tried as hard as he could to do what he was told, but he needed that release.

"We can come together," Zenigata said through pants and moans.

Jigen waited until he heard Zenigata let out a small growl and felt the wetness on his ass before letting everything out, too.

Zenigata got hard in no time as Jigen's juices filled the room with an even stronger strawberry scent.

"Oh, that smell," Zenigata growled as he once again began to manhandle both spires.

"Zeni-Zenigata, please," Jigen begged.

"Shut up," Zenigata said as he positioned the end of his trunk and pushed it against Jigen's puckered poop hole.

"No, don't, please. I-I don't want..."

"You don't have a choice, Jigen," Zenigata yelled.

Jigen then let out a loud scream as Zenigata forced his way into his backdoor. The Inspector was bigger than Lupin and longer than Goemon. He wasn't used to something this monstrous.

Zenigata grabbed Jigen's waist and started to pound into him, blood mixed with Zenigata's juices dripping to the floor.

Jigen could only shut his eyes and take it, but he found that once the pain wore off that it was really one of the best fucks he had ever had.

"Oh, Jigen, you're so tight," Zenigata growled as he kept pumping away, his fuzzy filberts colliding against Jigen's full moon. "This... this feels so good."

Jigen gasped as he came once again, Zenigata not letting go of his snake as he kept stroking it.

More strawberry smells to further turn Zenigata on, making him more horny by the second.

He found that the smell didn't last that long, needing more smells to get his fill. And the scent escaping from Jigen's sweat wasn't quite enough to satisfy.

"I... I need more," Zenigata said in a lustful beg.

'I do, too,' Jigen thought, not wanting to give Zenigata the satisfaction of him actually enjoying his anal fucking.

Zenigata let out a loud growl as he came, the hot juices inside of Jigen's ass turning him on and causing him to come, his strawberry scent turning Zenigata hard again before he could even pull out.

"Yes," Zenigata said. "That... that scent! I need more!"

"I... I can't give you more," Jigen panted. "Just... stop, okay? Please?"

Mentally Jigen was telling Zenigata to fuck harder and faster. And besides, Zenigata smelled like peaches. Jigen loved peaches. They made him hornier than a fucking rhino.

"You will give me more," Zenigata demanded, his authoritative voice sending chills down Jigen's spine.

Jigen said nothing, the sexual pleasure he was receiving making him weak kneed, his body going limp as he stared off with a smile on his face.

Zenigata continued to pound his ass, coming twice more until he, too, was weak kneed, having to sit down across from Jigen, who was now sound asleep.

"I'm not finished with you, Jigen. Not even close."

Once Zenigata caught his breath and cleaned himself, Jigen and the room up, he left the room and called in an officer to take Jigen to one of the cells.

The officer did so, stopping to smell the faint sweet scent that lingered in the room, his crotch growing twofold as he stared down wantingly at Jigen.


	8. Chapter 8

I know I'm forgetting stuff, but I can't think right now. Joke story anyway, so whatever. Wow, did I really just write this? xD Wow...

* * *

It had been three hours since Goemon had left the table quickly and locked himself away.

"Does he seem... different?" Lupin wondered.

Jigen looked across the table and shrugged. He didn't want to tell Lupin, but he did sense something strange about the samurai.

Lupin had felt the same thing, but he too did not want to mention it.

Jigen then began to chuckle, Lupin giving him an odd stare.

"Do you," Jigen said as he laughed. "Do you think he fell for that? You know, that bullshit you told us last night?"

"About that statue?" Lupin asked. It wasn't long before he was also chuckling.

The statue was an ancient wooden carving of a woman with a long told story about it being cursed and turning the one who first touched it into a woman.

"But that's just some stupid thing to deter people from stealing it," Lupin said, sighing and thinking about how silly Goemon is with these sorts of things.

"I'm gonna go talk to him," Jigen said with a grin on his face.

Lupin watched with serious eyes as Jigen walked off. 'It's just a big lie... so then why did he...?' Lupin shook the thoughts away and continued inhaling his food.

"Goemon?" Jigen asked as he knocked on the door.

Inside Goemon froze as he lay on the bed, the salty liquid that dribbled from his tear ducts meeting his lips, his tongue gently lapping the moisture.

"Hey, Goemon, can I come in?" Jigen stood at the door, his concerned eyes staring down at his feet as he absent-mindedly wiped his sweaty palms off onto his pants.

"N-no. I mean, I... I'm not dressed," Goemon answered, sighing at just how stupid the answer was.

"Come on," Jigen laughed. "Not like I haven't seen a naked man before."

"Naked man," Goemon mumbled as he sniffled and wiped away his tears. He squirmed his way deeper into the bed, pulling the blankets around him. "Fine, you may enter."

"Finally," Jigen muttered as he opened the door, walking in and closing the door behind him. "You okay?" he asked slowly, staring at a cocoon like Goemon.

"I'm just... I-I'm cold," Goemon answered.

"Oh." Jigen stared around the room. "You know, the stuff about the statue, it was all just some bullshit lie. Lupin was just messing with you about being the first to touch it and changing and... yeah. Just wanted to let you know."

"A lie..." Goemon whispered. "If... if it was all a lie, then..."

"You'll be okay," Jigen laughed. "I don't know why you have to take this stuff so seriously, Goemon. I swear, you're like some naive child."

"No..." Goemon sat up as Jigen began to walk to the door. "No."

"No? Goemon, what the hell... are... you..." Jigen just stared as he turned towards the sad looking man in the bed. Or at least he was a man.

Goemon sat, his eyes not meeting Jigen's as he felt ashamed, ashamed at the things which he should not have.

"Holy shit!" Jigen yelled as he stared at Goemon's new chest, large plump breasts almost freeing themselves from the loose kimono. "When the hell'd you get those?"

"Please, don't... don't look at them." Goemon blushed as he turned his head.

"Hey guys," Lupin hollered from the kitchen. "I ate all the food so I'm going shopping! Need anything?"

"Um, no," Jigen yelled through the door. "We're... we're fine!"

"You're wrong, Jigen," Goemon said through his silent sobs, tears once again falling. He clutched the fabric of his kimono, trying to hide his new accessories.

"Goemon..." Jigen didn't know why, but he found himself going towards the man. Woman. Whatever his good friend was now.

"Jigen, no," Goemon said, pushing out a hand to shove Jigen away, but his hand pressing against Jigen's crotch. "You... you're hard..."

Jigen took in a quick breath of air. "Do... are... is your...?"

Goemon blushed and slowly removed his hand. "No. It's... it's gone. All of it..."

"Shit..." The heat rushed through Jigen's body. It was as if his deepest fantasies were coming true.

"Jigen... what do I do?" Goemon looked up at Jigen, sad tear filled eyes meeting lusting and concerned eyes.

Jigen didn't answer, only sat down next to Goemon.

"Jigen? What are you-" His words were silenced with a kiss. It was soft and gentle and even though it was more of a tickle than anything, it filled Goemon with a feeling he had repressed for so long. Love.

"Jigen... your lips, they're so soft..."

Jigen said nothing, pulling Goemon in for a deeper and longer kiss, both mouths opening as their tongues explored the others oral cavity.

"Oh god," Jigen gasped as the two separated, his mouth finding Goemon's neck, his right hand slipping into Goemon's kimono and groping one of the large breasts, thumb and forefinger pinching the nipple.

Goemon let out a small gasp. The short time they had alone was enough to make him breathless, gasping for air as lips sucked and nibbled on his neck. "Jigen," he moaned.

"Yeah?" Jigen's muffled reply came as he gently slipped the kimono over Goemon's shoulders.

"I... I want you." He closed his eyes tightly and bit at his lower lip, those words combined with Jigen's tongue flicking his erect nipples almost too much for him.

"I want you, too," Jigen said as he slowly and gently got Goemon's pants untied and was in the process of slipping them off.

"I want you so bad," Goemon moaned, his voice becoming more and more feminine the more he talked.

Jigen was unable to take anymore, unzipping his pants and freeing his throbbing erection. "You want this?" he teased.

Goemon stared at it and licked his lips. "Y-yes. Gi-give it to me."

Jigen removed the odd thing Goemon wore as underwear and paused. "You sure?"

Goemon nodded. "Fuck me," he demanded.

Jigen nodded and shoved himself inside the samurai.

Goemon let out a small scream of pain, tears now pouring from his eyes.

"Oh my god, Goemon," Jigen panted. "You-youre so damn tight. It feels so... so good. Goemon..."

"Yes, I can... I can feel you inside me."

"Does it feel good?"

Goemon nodded.

Jigen smiled as he began to slowly pull himself out, then force himself back in.

"I... I want you... I want all of you... inside..." Goemon begged.

Jigen nodded, lifting up one of Goemon's legs before thrusting himself deep inside Goemon's wet pussy.

"It's... it's balls deep," Goemon said happily, lifting his head up and watching Jigen fuck him.

"Your pussy, it's so tight," Jigen said as he was now fucking Goemon violently. "It feels so good."

"More," Goemon begged loudly. "Fuck me more. Make me feel good. I want you, Jigen. I love you."

"I love you, too," Jigen said as he continued giving Goemon what he wanted.

"I'm feeling weird," Goemon said. "Your cock, it's... it's making me feel weird inside."

"That's the point," Jigen said.

"It's... it's throbbing. I... I can feel your penis throbbing inside of me. I can-"

Goemon screamed as his orgasm came, his muscles trembling as Jigen never missed a beat.

Jigen tried to hold on longer, but with Goemon's vaginal walls now even tighter around his dick, he knew it wouldn't be long.

"Your nipples, god," Jigen said as his hands squeezed Goemon's breasts, trying to get his mind off of his dick.

It didn't work, though, as soon he was coming, growling as he did so.

"Your cum," Goemon gasped. "I can feel it. It's so hot. I love it."

"I-I'm glad," Jigen said as he collapsed on top of Goemon.

"I love you, Jigen," Goemon whispered as he kissed the man's neck. He then smiled, glancing down at the sleeping gunman that lay on top of him "I love you..."


	9. Chapter 9

I have no idea why I felt like continuing this, but I did. And I made it more serious, as the original version was lacking and didn't make sense in parts. I think there will be three chapters of this. I don't want there to be four, so I will try to keep it at three, even if I have to cram things together. The outline for this story I wrote yesterday makes me laugh. The ending is nothing like what I wanted for it. I think I was listening to some emo music and it warped my mind. D:

And just a caution, this chapter contains rape and violence and crap. And over repetition of various words.

* * *

**Untitled - Chapter 1**

"I'm heading out," Lupin said as Jigen and Goemon played a game of poker. "I'll be back later."

The two nodded, neither saying a word as they stared at their cards.

Lupin left, a bounce in his step as he headed for the parking garage, getting into his car and driving off.

The night before, he, with the help of Jigen and Goemon, had completed a job for an old friend, nothing really big or all that challenging, but he couldn't say no.

His friend, after receiving the goods, told Lupin to meet him at a club, telling him they'd have some drinks and then he'd give Lupin his payment.

Lupin agreed, just wanting to get all of this over with so he could move on to the more fun jobs he was used to.

A ten minute drive later Lupin was at the club, letting the valet in front park his car for him as he walked inside.

The man Lupin was to meet turned to see Lupin enter, nodding and waving him over. He was a large man, most of his mass being muscle, all on a six foot five inch frame.

"Bartender," the man called over.

"So, Frank," Lupin said as he leaned against the bar. "You know how I hate things like this. I don't care if you are a friend." Lupin waved off the bartender. "I did the job, you got the items, and now I expect to be payed."

Frank grinned and shrugged. "Fine. I just didn't think you'd want to rush into this."

"Rush... into this?" Lupin wondered.

"It's been years since we've seen each other," the man said with a friendly slap to Lupin's back and a grin on his face. "Sit down, have a few drinks. They're on me."

"Oh," Lupin said, relaxing some. "I think I'll pass, though. I have another job to do, so if you don't mind, I'll take my payment now."

"Ah, I see," Frank grinned. "Always the busy man you are." He laughed and downed his drink. "But, look, I don't have it with me," Frank shrugged. "Five mill is kind of a lot to be hauling around," he said in a hushed voice.

"So, what do I have to do to get it?" Lupin was quickly getting annoyed, as he specifically stated he wanted the money right there.

"It's back at my suite. If you want I can drive you there to pick it up and then bring you back here."

"I can drive myself," Lupin said, now suspicious of his friend.

"Fine." Frank laughed and backed off, Lupin following him out of the bar.

...

The hotel Frank was staying at wasn't far from the club, the two parked and up in his room in less than twenty minutes.

Lupin tensed slightly, ready for anything.

"It's in the closet," Frank said as he turned on the lights.

"Get it," Lupin said as he stood by the door.

Frank laughed. "You scared of me or something?"

"Something," Lupin answered.

"Fine," Frank shrugged, walking to the closet and grabbing a black suitcase, pulling it out and walking back towards Lupin.

"Open it," Lupin ordered.

"You're treating me like an enemy," Frank laughed.

"You changed plans on me and I hate when people do that," Lupin said, narrowing his eyes.

"Whatever," Frank scoffed, setting the case on the bed and opening it, stacks of new bills sitting inside. "You want to check if they're real, too?"

Lupin gave him a suspicious look and wandered to the bed, reaching down and picking up one of the stacks, flipping through the money.

"This isn't your real payment, though," Frank said, his tone changed as he spoke through clenched teeth.

"Huh?" Lupin turned to see an object coming at his face, too late to do anything as the object made contact, his face burning as he was reduced to a pain-filled pile on the floor.

Frank glared down at Lupin, standing over him as he rubbed his now stinging knuckles. "You let your guard down. I'm disappointed in you, Lupin."

Lupin held his throbbing head in pain, sitting up slowly and in a daze as he looked around, his vision blurred. He reached inside of his jacket and grabbed his gun, pulling it out, but his grip on it lost when a knee planted itself into his face.

"You think I couldn't do the job myself?" Frank scoffed. He reached down and grabbed Lupin by the front of his shirt and lifted him up. "What's the matter, Lupin? Don't have some kind of smart ass remark to make?"

Lupin grunted as Frank's fist pounded into his stomach. He then crumbled to the floor when Frank loosened his grip.

"That money?" Frank said as he pointed toward the bed. "A stupid ass punk like you doesn't deserve that kind of cash. You think I was here to reward you? To catch up on old times?"

Frank watched as Lupin tried to crawl away, smirking and then driving his boot into the thief's ribs, laughing as Lupin curled up in pain.

"Actually, I'm here to pay you back for what you did to my daughter."

Lupin was once again pulled up, this time his feet getting lifted off the floor.

Although dazed, Lupin knew what was going on. And for the first time that he could remember he was truly frightened, his body trembling slightly as he stared with sorrowful and pain filled eyes at his old friend.

"You remember her, right?" Frank growled as he pulled Lupin closer to him. "The one you decided to have a little fun with eleven years ago?" Anger causing his hands to tremble, Frank threw them forward, throwing Lupin against the wall.

"I... I..." Lupin had no time to explain, large fists pummeling his stomach and face.

"I'll do to you just like you did to her." Frank grinned, an evil laugh escaping his lips as he grabbed Lupin and turned him around, throwing him face first into the wall.

Lupin left streaks of blood on the white wall as his slid down it before falling to the floor, his nose along with the cut above his eye and on his bottom lips continuing to bleed, staining the carpet.

"Did you think I'd never find out?" Frank undid his belt and took it off, beating Lupin with it as Lupin curled up in a fetal position, his only defense against the stinging strikes.

"You worthless piece of shit," Frank muttered, picking Lupin up and throwing him against the wall.

Lupin hit the wall hard, bouncing off and falling to the floor. He reached for his gun that laid nearby, but was quickly grabbed by Frank, who pried the gun away and threw it on the other side of the room.

"She told me all about it," Frank said, grabbing Lupin's face and forcing him to look him in the eyes. "Everything you did to her, I'm going to do to you."

Lupin backed up against the wall, but there was nowhere to go as Frank unzipped his pants and pulled his dick from the front of his boxers.

"Suck it," Frank demanded, a sinister grin on his face.

Lupin shook his head, pressing himself more against the wall.

"I said, suck it!" Frank reached out and wrapped his large hand around the back of Lupin's head, pulling it forward and forcing it into his crotch.

Lupin attempted to push himself away, but was unable to fight back as he found his mouth being forced open and Frank's dick being pushed into it.

"Oh yeah," Frank moaned as he had a firm grip on Lupin's head with both his hands and was pushing and pulling it against him.

Lupin gagged as Frank's now full erection was being shoved down his throat. Too weak to do anything, he stopped fighting it, just wanting the whole thing to be over.

Frank continued to moan as his hips bucked forward, soon letting out a loud growl as he came.

A sickened look was on Lupin's face, Frank's juices starting to seep out the corners of his mouth.

"Swallow it," Frank demanded, pulling himself from Lupin's mouth and laughing as he watched the man struggle to swallow what he wanted to spit out.

Lupin did as he was told, coughing and gagging afterwards as he fell to the floor.

"We're not through, yet." Frank lifted Lupin up roughly and threw him on the bed. "We're just getting to the fun part," he laughed, walking up to Lupin and undoing his belt before unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, pulling them down to his waist. "You're going to love this," Frank laughed as he flipped Lupin onto his stomach.

Lupin lifted his head and looked back and Frank got on top of him. "No..." he said weakly. "Please, don't..." he begged, soon screaming as Frank forced his whole length inside of him.

"They say it's better with lube, but I don't appear to have any." Frank laughed as he continued fucking Lupin's ass.

Lupin cried out, tears rolling down his face as his hands gripped tightly the bedspread.

"Stop pretending, Lupin," Frank said through moans of pleasure. "You know you love your ass getting pounded."

Lupin's pain grew as Frank was now bucking wildly. His body unable to take anymore punishment, Lupin blacked out.

...

Lupin didn't know how long the raping lasted or what else Frank had done to him. All he knew was that he seemed to be out for hours and hours, but when he woke up, it was still night.

He tried to sit up, but the pain was too much and he fell back, falling on an uncomfortable lump.

'Trash?' he wondered, glancing around him to see he had been thrown in a pile of trash in a littered alley.

'He threw me away... like garbage...' Tears of anger and shame began to fall as the events of that night came back to him. As he tried to sit up again he felt something odd in his pants.

He reached down inside them and pulled out a wad of hundred dollar bills, on the top bill written "Thanks for the great night, sweetie" with a heart underneath it.

Lupin stared off in shock, the wad of cash falling from his hands and to the ground.

The message was one he had written long ago on a hundred dollar bill that sat on top of a nice stack of them, which were then placed in the front of a passed out girls panties, a girl that Lupin had raped eleven years ago.


	10. Chapter 10

I realized when I uploaded the last chapter how this series went from wacky not-at-all-what-it-appears-to-be joke stories to serious stuff rather quickly. xD Oh well, I knew the wacky thing probably wouldn't last. This will just be like an adult version of Adventures In... or something.  
Panties is a word that fills me with rage. I hate that word so much.  
I drank a cold drink and my teeth started to hurt. All day my stupid teeth hurt. So tonight I thought "Screw it, I'm having effing ice cream!". After eating it, my teeth aren't hurting as much. I hate my body...

* * *

**Untitled - Chapter 2**

Jigen sat back in a chair at the table, his foot tapping the floor quickly. He glanced at the clock once again, seeing that another slow minute had passed by.

Goemon sat in the corner of the room and meditated. Or at least that was what he tried to do. He was just as worried as Jigen.

Lupin was supposed to be gone long enough to collect the payment. And here it was, almost four in the morning and he still hadn't returned.

Goemon had never trusted Frank. There was just something about him he could see during their first meeting. He was kind and smiled a lot, but Goemon could see a more sinister side behind the cheap smiles and put on laughter.

Jigen had felt there was something there, too, but he pushed those thoughts aside as he trusted Lupin, who said that Frank was an old family friend, Jigen going along with it.

But now both regretted letting Lupin go off alone. And their regret only grew when the front door opened.

"Lupin?" Jigen said, shocked by the sight of his friend beaten up like he was.

Goemon stood, but was silent.

"I just... I ran into some trouble." Lupin's words came out as mumbles as he stared at the floor. He couldn't bring himself to look his friends in the eyes.

"Are... are you okay?" Jigen asked, concerned by the way Lupin was acting.

"I'm fine," Lupin said as his jaws tightened. "I just..." A lump formed in his throat as his eyes watered. Turning from the two, he made his way into his room quickly, shutting and locking the door.

Jigen and Goemon looked at each other, confused and angered by what they saw.

...

Lupin quickly removed his clothes, throwing them in the garbage. He turned on the shower and stepped inside, sliding down the wall until he sat at the back of the tub, pulling his knees into his chest and holding them tightly with both arms. Lowering his head he sobbed, his body shaking as the warm water washed over him.

...

"What do you think?" Jigen asked.

"I don't know," Goemon answered, both of them staring in the direction of Lupin's room.

Jigen sighed, lighting a cigarette and throwing the book of matches onto the table.

"He doesn't have the money," Goemon remarked.

"And?" Jigen said in anger as he glared at Goemon. "What the fuck does that have to do with anything? And since when the fuck did you start giving a damn about fucking money?"

Goemon glared back as he huffed up. "That isn't what I meant, Jigen! What I was-"

"It isn't what you meant?" Jigen laughed. "Really? What else is that supposed to fucking mean?"

"If you'd shut the hell up and let me explain I'd tell you!"

"I don't need your fucking explanation," Jigen muttered.

"He left to get the money, but came back empty handed. It isn't like him. That was what I meant."

"Yeah? Well, is it like him to come back looking like he got the shit beat out of him and crying? Is it, Goemon?"

"You're concentrating your anger towards the wrong person," Goemon said calmly as he stood and left the room, walking out onto the balcony.

"Fuck," Jigen sighed, standing and leaving the apartment.

...

Lupin got out of the shower, not bothering to dry himself off or get dressed. Walking to the bed he collapsed on it, slowly pulling himself into a fetal position while staring off with lifeless eyes.

The slightest movement made him hurt, but he had long been able to drown out the physical pain.

It was the mental pain that ripped him apart inside. A pain he knew would probably never leave him.

He closed his eyes, memories returning to that time he thought he had forgotten.

Back then he was a stupid teenager who had grown up around alcohol, drugs, money and sex. Rape was almost a nightly occurrence in his house, his father dragging some strange woman home with him, having his way with her and then throwing money at her before she left sobbing.

And the next night it was always someone else with the same ending.

His dad had told him that when a woman doesn't love you, you make her love you. His dad had meant something completely different, but being the naive kid Lupin was, he had put the two together.

And that was how it happened.

Frank was famous in the underground for being good at cracking safes, something Lupin's dad needed help with in the large bank job he had been planning. And so Frank would be over at his house all of the time going over blueprints and strategies.

And sometimes Frank would bring his daughter, who was a few years younger than Lupin was.

Her name was Adele and she was small with piercing blue eyes and flowing red hair. It was love at first sight for Lupin.

Only Adele was too young to be interested in such things, so she generally avoided eye contact with the older boy. And when he spoke to her, she was polite, but kept her distance, usually declining anything Lupin offered her.

This had only pissed Lupin off more, not understanding why some stupid bitch like her would refuse somebody like him.

He decided that he would make her love him.

Frank was unaware of the tension between his daughter and his partners son, so he thought nothing of it to leave her there with Lupin while the two went off to complete their big heist.

Lupin tried to be nice, but Adele avoided him, ending up running from him in a panic as he followed her around the house.

Adele ran into a room, no doors or windows there for her to escape from. Trapped, she turned as Lupin walked through the door, an evil grin of his face.

She screamed when he touched her. She was told to shut up and then hit when she continued to scream. She was forced to have oral sex with him and was brutally fucked as he held her to the floor.

Lupin left her where she passed out.

An hour later she woke up, shaking when she realized what had happened to her. She had gotten her underwear on, tears streaming down her cheeks as she struggled to gather her clothes. Lifting them with shaking hands she froze and held them to her body as the door opened and Lupin walked in.

He smirked as he walked towards her, pulling out a neat pile of cash with one hand and pulling the front of her panties away with his other hand. As he stuffed the money in he whispered to her in a threatening manner that she better not tell anyone what had happened.

Fearing for her life she ran out of the room, locking herself inside of another and quietly waiting for her dad to come back to get her.

Even after all of that Lupin knew she still didn't love him and moved on to other girls. By his late teens he had become a completely different person, having gone through the death of both his grandfather and his father and having to carry on the Lupin Empire by himself.

He had forced himself to forget a part of his youth, not wanting himself to look back on the stupid things he had done.

And it had worked up until that night.

...

The sun was starting to rise when Jigen walked back to the apartment, pausing as he walked towards his room. He stared at the floor for a few seconds before looking out at the balcony, Goemon still sitting there.

"Hey," Jigen said, having to force himself to go out and talk with his friend. He leaned against the railing and placed another cigarette between his lips, not bothering to light this one.

Goemon opened his eyes and glanced at the back of Jigen, choosing not to say anything to him.

"I'm sorry for blowing up on you like that earlier," Jigen said, finding it a lot easier to say once he forced the words out of his mouth.

"It's fine," Goemon answered.

"No it isn't," Jigen said, turning and staring at Goemon. He leaned with his back against the railing, staring off at his shoes as he sighed.

"He hasn't left his room," Goemon said, foreseeing himself being asked that question.

Jigen just sighed.

"When he wants to talk he'll talk," Goemon said, closing his eyes once again. "It gets us nowhere to worry about it."

Jigen rolled his eyes and walked inside.

He knew that if Lupin wasn't going to open up to him or Goemon, then the only other person to try was Fujiko.

"Damn it," Jigen sighed as he stared at his phone.

He hated to get her involved, as she drove Jigen more insane than Lupin did.

Forcing himself to stop stalling he called her number.

...

It was almost noon when Jigen woke up, stumbling out of bed and forcing himself out of his room to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

"He hasn't come out," Goemon said as he sat at the table with his eyes closed.

Jigen mumbled a response as he sat down and stared off. "I called Fujiko."

Goemon opened his eyes and stared at Jigen. "Do you think that was smart to involve her in this?"

Jigen shrugged. "We don't even know what 'this' is. Besides, what can it hurt?"

Goemon closed his eyes and said nothing.

...

Two hours later a knock came to the door, Goemon answering it.

"He's in his room," he told Fujiko as she smiled at him.

She nodded and made her way to his door. "Lupin?" she said while knocking on it. A few seconds later the door opened and she walked inside, the door closing.

"Fujiko," Lupin sang out, trying to kiss her but getting pushed to the side.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner," she said, giving him a flirtatious look as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Really?" Lupin asked excitedly. "I would love that, Fujiko." He sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. "Just let me get ready," he grinned, jumping to his feet and rushing to the bathroom.

Fujiko stared at the closed door in confusion. 'What was Jigen talking about?' she thought. 'There's nothing wrong with Lupin. He seems pretty normal to me...'

"I'm ready," Lupin said with a goofy laugh.

"Well, that was... quick," she said with a forced smile.

"I don't want to keep you waiting, my love," he said as he gently took her hand in his and kissed it.

"Oh Lupin," she said, leading him along as she gave him a loving smile.

The two left the room, Jigen and Goemon staring at Lupin as he came out.

"We're going out," Lupin said with a grin. "Don't wait up for us."

Jigen and Goemon gave him odd looks, Fujiko looking at Jigen and shrugging.

"That was weird..." Jigen said, he and Goemon giving each other a confused glance.

...

Since it wasn't close to the night hours Lupin took Fujiko for a drive.

"I know this great little restaurant," Lupin told her as he drove down a small country road. "It's in the next city, but since he have some time to kill, I figured why not, right?" He glanced at her with a big grin.

She smiled back at him. "Yeah, why not."

'What is going on?' she wondered to herself as she stared out the window. 'Am I being set up? Are Jigen and Lupin in on whatever this is? And Goemon? Are they all trying to pay me back somehow for something?'

"So, Fujiko," Lupin said, breaking the silence.

Fujiko jumped, startled at the sudden noise. "Y-yes?"

"I've just been thinking. After dinner, do you want to have a little fun?" He turned and gave her a knowing glance.

"Sure, I'd love that," she flirted, happy that she brought along her small bottle of sleeping liquid.

Lupin laughed and stepped on the gas.

...

They arrived at the restaurant and were seated in the back by the large windows that filled the wall.

"Oh Lupin, it's so beautiful," Fujiko gasped, the two staring out at the setting sun.

"Mmhmm," Lupin said with a smile on his face. "Not as beautiful as you, though."

"Oh, Lupin," Fujiko laughed, the smile hiding the disgust she felt from the awful comment.

She kept up the act, smiling and flirting as Lupin sweet talked her. She was just happy that when the food came she was able to stomach it.

"So, Lupin, do you have any jobs planned that you need help with?"

Lupin gulped some wine to swallow the food he had just crammed in his mouth. "Not really. Why? Do you have something?"

She shook her head as she played with the food on her plate. "I was just wondering why you were here."

"Oh," he said, his mood changing as he seemed to close himself off from the world. "I just... had something to do. That doesn't matter, though," he said, opening himself up again as he grinned. "What matters is that you're here with me."

She smiled and sipped her wine. 'That was... odd...'

Throughout dinner she tried to get Lupin to elaborate on his answer to her, but he would just get weird and not say anything.

Lupin was desperately trying to get that incident off his mind, hiding his annoyance well as he flirted with Fujiko.

Fujiko decided to just let it go and play along.

"It's getting kind of late," Lupin said as he finished off his glass of wine. "What do you say about staying over the night?" he said with a suggestive grin.

Fujiko mentally groaned. "Sounds nice," she smiled.

"Great," Lupin said as he jumped to his feet.

Before she could react Lupin already had her pulled out of her seat and was leading her out of the front door and to the car.

She reached into her purse just to make sure the sleeping liquid was really in there. She was going to need it soon.

...

"Slow down, Lupin," Fujiko said in annoyance, pushing him away from her as they stood in the elevator on their way up to their room.

Of course Lupin had to get their most expensive suite and had already requested their best wine be brought up.

"But, Fujiko," he whined, his hands getting slapped away as he reached for her breasts.

"Can you just wait until we get to the room?" Fujiko crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.

Lupin gave a sheepish grin and waited.

"Come on," Lupin said as the doors started to open.

Fujiko let out a shriek as she was lifted up into his arms and carried into the suite. "Lupin!" she cried out. "Put me down!"

"Happy to oblige," he said, setting her down on the bed and laying down on top of her, covering her neck with kisses.

"Lupin..." she grunted as she tried to push him off of her. "Lupin, stop!"

He grabbed her wrist and forced her arm to the bed as he continued kissing her.

"Lupin, that hurts."

"Stop fighting me and it won't," he told her, sitting up and starting to remove his clothes.

She squirmed her way out from under him and started to get off the bed when her arm was grabbed.

"Trying to leave so soon?" he teased, pulling her back to the bed.

She landed on it hard, glaring up at Lupin as he loomed over her. "You can try to be a little more gentle."

He only laughed, his hands working to get her clothes off.

"Lupin, stop it," she demanded.

"No," he grinned.

"I'm going to scream if you don't," she threatened.

"Oh yeah?" Lupin's grin faded, his eyes narrowing.

"Get off of me," she growled. "I said, get off of-!"

"Shut up, Fujiko," he said as he glared at her.

"Don't you dare tell me to shut up, Lupin!"

"I can tell you whatever the fuck I want to tell you," he growled.

Fujiko tensed as Lupin's demeanor changed. "Get off of me," she demanded in a low voice. "Get off of me," she screamed. "Get off of me! Get off-!"

"Shut the fuck up!" he yelled, hitting her face hard with the back of his hand.

She gasped in shock, holding her face as tears filled her eyes. She tried to get up but was forced back to the bed, her shirt ripped open and her skirt being pulled down.

"No," she growled. "Stop it. Damn it, Lupin, stop it!"

Unable to get to her purse she grabbed the next closest thing. Taking the lamp firmly in her right hand she smashed it over Lupin's head, knocking him out, his body falling limp onto her.

She pushed him off and jumped out of bed, clutching her shirt closed as she backed away. Her body shook as she stared at Lupin, only now noticing the bruising that was on his body.

Looking away she pulled her skirt back up and grabbed her purse as she rushed to the elevator.

As the doors closed she leaned against the back wall, sliding down to the floor as she began to cry.


	11. Chapter 11

This is more like chapter three and a half. Haven't figured out an ending for this thing yet.

* * *

**Untitled - Chapter 3**

Jigen looked up as Fujiko opened the door and stomped towards him. Before he could say or do anything her hand slapped him hard on the face.

"What the hell was that-"

"You dick!" she screamed as her eyes watered. "You stupid fucking dick!"

Goemon stood and walked towards the two.

"What the fuck is your problem?" Jigen yelled as he rubbed his stinging face.

"Tell me why you called me here! Tell me!"

"Fujiko, what-"

"Shut up, Goemon," she ordered as she continued to glare at Jigen.

"Lupin was acting weird and I figured he'd open up to you. That was why I called you," Jigen said in a raised voice.

"Well, he didn't seem weird to me," she replied, her voice also raised.

"We thought that was strange, too."

"What happened, Fujiko," Goemon asked.

She stared at the floor, walking over to the couch and sitting on it. "Most of the night he seemed normal, but... when I'd ask him why he was here and if he had a job he had to do he just shut himself away. He'd get quiet and upset over something, but then he'd quickly go back to being himself."

"Did he tell you anything?" Goemon stood and stared down at her, being the one to do the asking as Jigen sat at the table with his back turned to them.

"He just said he had something to do. That was it."

Jigen scoffed and turned towards her. "So, why don't you tell me why you came in here like some psychotic bitch and attacked me."

"I... I thought you were setting me up," she answered in anger. "What you told me seemed like a lie. I figured you and Lupin were trying to get back at me for something I did."

"Setting you up for what?" Jigen scoffed.

"Lupin attacked me," she sighed sadly.

"He what?" Goemon said in shock.

"He tried to rape me," she said as she held back her tears. "He's never been that rough with me before or been that verbal."

"Well, then he wasn't acting normal, was he?" Jigen spat.

"Did you hear what I just fucking said?" She turned and glared at him as tears fell down her face.

"Yeah! I also heard the part where you thought I planned this whole thing! Is that what you think I really want to happen to you, Fujiko? Is it?"

"I don't know what you want to happen to me, Jigen! You're the one who fucking hates me!"

"Yeah, I hate you, Fujiko! But there's a certain line that I don't cross! And rape is one of them!"

"Well, I'm sorry that I can't read your damn mind!"

The two turned away from each other as the room got quiet.

"He had bruises," Fujiko said as she stared at her lap.

"Well, I told you it looked like he got his ass kicked..." Jigen muttered.

"No, these were different. I... I know these bruises. They're the kind you get when... when you're raped."

Goemon and Jigen looked at her in shock.

"Are you sure?" Goemon wondered.

Fujiko nodded. "I had a friend and... and she..." She bowed her head, the memories a painful thing to think back on.

The three were quiet as they thought about the situation.

"Damn it," Jigen spat as he stood. "I knew we couldn't trust him."

"Him?" Fujiko wondered.

"You don't know that it was him, Jigen," Goemon said, just as upset over the whole thing, but not one to ever think that something like that could happen to Lupin.

"Oh, really, Goemon? Then who the hell else do you think did this to him?" he asked in anger. "He left here to meet him, a guy neither of us trusted, but...!" He sat down and sighed, all of the anger draining from him, those feelings replaced with guilt and regret. "But we let him go," he muttered as he stared down at the floor.

"We didn't know-" Goemon started to say.

"We did know, Goemon! Damn it, don't you get it?"

"What are you two talking about?" Fujiko wondered as she glanced at the two.

Goemon glared at Jigen, deciding to explain when he chose to remain quiet. "Lupin met a friend of his to get paid for a job. And when he returned he was beaten and upset. He told us he ran into some trouble and then locked himself inside of his room."

"And... you think that..." Fujiko wanted to laugh their theory off. The manner of which they acted, however, made her rethink that idea.

The severe bruising on Lupin's body wasn't done by a woman or by a group of people. It was done by one person, a big strong man, most likely.

"When he gets back I'll talk to him," Jigen said as he stood up and started towards the door. "Right now, I need a drink. Or twenty."

Goemon and Fujiko were quiet as the door closed. They glanced quickly at each other before looking away.

"I need some sleep," Fujiko mumbled.

"You can use my room," Goemon offered before heading out to the balcony.

...

The sun was just rising when Jigen woke up, his headache preventing him from getting any rest.

Hours earlier he had stumbled his way back to the room and collapsed on the couch, passing out quickly after.  
All was right with his world until he woke up and remembered what it was he had tried so hard to forget.

"Damn it," he sighed as he held his head.

"You weren't out for long," Goemon said as he sat at the table.

Jigen looked towards the voice and stared for a few seconds. "Were you there the whole time?"

"I'm not surprised you didn't notice," Goemon remarked.

"Not in the mood," Jigen mumbled, falling back onto the couch and staring up at the ceiling.

"Lupin came back while you were gone."

"It can wait until morning."

"Morning will be here soon."

"Then it can wait until after morning," Jigen said in annoyance.

"What will you say?" Goemon wondered after a moment of silence.

"Not sure."

Goemon made no reply.

"What do you think I should say?" Jigen asked.

"Have him tell you the truth."

"Easier said than done..."

"Should I speak to him, then?"

"No, it's fine," Jigen sighed. "I'll do it when he gets up."

Jigen closed his eyes and slipped back into unconsciousness, the lack of sleep beating out the annoying pain.

When he woke up hours later the room was silent. He sat up and looked around. Goemon was no longer at the table, nor was he out on the balcony.

Jigen muttered to himself as he sat up, finally talking himself into standing. His legs a little wobbly, he made his way carefully to Lupin's room, knocking on the door.

"Looking for me?" Lupin wondered as he walked up behind Jigen.

"Huh?" Jigen turned and stared at him. "Oh, yeah. I need to ask you something."

"Man, how much did you drink last night?" Lupin laughed as he led Jigen into his room.

"I don't remember," Jigen said, his headache returning.

"So? What'd you need?"

Jigen closed the door and leaned against it as he stared at Lupin, who was now sitting on the edge of the bed. "I need to know the truth."

"Truth?" Lupin wondered with a grin. "About what? And why are you so serious all of a sudden?"

Jigen narrowed his eyes at Lupin as he walked towards him, every step seeming to make Lupin just that much more uncomfortable. "What happened to you?"

Lupin quickly got to his feet as Jigen approached. "What are you talking about?" he asked annoyingly.

"With Frank," Jigen barked. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened," Lupin insisted as he stepped around Jigen to get away from him.

"Then why are you acting this way?" Jigen demanded to know.

"I'm not acting in any way," Lupin yelled, stepping back as Jigen walked towards him again. "Look, just back off, all right? Nothing happened, okay? Everything is fine!"

Jigen watched as Lupin opened the door and stomped out.

...

"So, what do we do now?" Fujiko wondered, she, Jigen and Goemon sitting at the table of an expensive restaurant.

"We must get revenge," Goemon said.

"About Lupin," Fujiko said, rolling her eyes.

"He'll have to deal with this himself," Jigen said. "And if he wants our help, then he'll have to approach us and let us know."

Goemon nodded in agreement.

"But," Jigen said as he swirled the wine in his glass, "I agree with Goemon. We need to do something about that bastard Frank."


	12. Chapter 12

This is a short story, probably two or three chapters. I completely ripped it off of Ghost Tits, something awesome that people should watch, as it's awesome. If only it were a real trailer, I would go see that movie. xD

Also, the last story is not dropped. I just can't figure out a non-cringe worthy ending for it. xP

* * *

Dem Tits

-1-

If there was one thing Lupin loved about Fujiko the most it was her gorgeous body. Actually, that was really a lie, his answer to her so she wouldn't be angered by his real reason for loving her...

"I'm so lucky to have a woman like her," Lupin sighed.

Jigen mumbled something under his breath and rolled his eyes.

Goemon said nothing, keeping a pace behind Lupin and Jigen as the three walked to the club.

"Her voice, her eyes, her... her hair!" Lupin sighed the sigh of a man deeply in love. "But most of all, after the fact that she's great in bed, I'm so lucky to have a woman with breasts as big as Fujiko's."

"Lupin, she-"

Jigen nudged Goemon and shut him up. He didn't want to hear any more about Fujiko's breasts.

Lupin giggled like only a perverted man could as he thought about the large lumps of soft flesh. The way they felt in his hands, the way they bounced up and down and sideways, the way they felt on his lips.

Nothing could beat them. Nothing.

"So, who's playing tonight?" Jigen asked, not really caring but wanting to get on another subject.

Lupin shrugged. He was lost in the land of boobs.

Goemon didn't know. He didn't even know why he was there. He never knew why he was there.

Lupin pulled out a picture of Fujiko from his wallet and stared at it. Another sigh as he stroked her large breasts with his thumb.

It wasn't the same, but it'd have to do.

"Oh, guys," Lupin said excitedly. "Fujiko comes in at-"

"Six thirty tomorrow evening," Jigen said in annoyance. "We know. You've reminded us of that fact about twenty five times today."

"Only twenty five?" Lupin wondered, disappointed in himself.

Jigen shrugged. "I lost count at nineteen, so I just guessed."

"Forty seven," Goemon said. "You were a little off..."

"Hmmm." Jigen didn't care. He didn't want to hear about it. He just wanted to be lost in his drink and in the music.

Lupin had other ideas, however. He wanted to talk about Fujiko and her boobs.

Jigen finished his first drink and walked out.

Lupin didn't notice.

Goemon was angry that he was abandoned, now forced to endure the torture of detailed descriptions of lady bits he did not wish to have his mind picture.

...

It was all Lupin could think about while Fujiko was away.

He stared lovingly at pictures of her, of her tits, her large round tits.

They called out to him. They needed his tender touch.

Lupin slept well that night, his dreams filled with nothing but large fleshy chest lumps and erect nipples.

...

He sat around the next day, sitting on the couch and staring at the clock. He blinked very little, wide eyes watching as the seconds ticked by.

Jigen couldn't do his usual lazing about. The tension was just too much.

Goemon found Lupin's thoughts somehow entering his mind. He didn't know how he managed that, but sometimes Lupin was the most frightening thing in the world.

Jigen and Goemon found themselves leaving the apartment. To do what, they didn't know.

They knew they had to finish up with whatever by six thirty, though, or else Lupin would drive them even crazier.

...

Six had finally come and Lupin rounded the other two into the car.

Neither knew why they had to come along, but for some reason Lupin wanted them there.

Lupin talked non-stop about Fujiko, being so excited to see her again, to see her tits.

Jigen sighed. "Lupin, she was gone for two days..."

"And that's a very long time for me," Lupin argued.

"But, Lupin, she d-"

Jigen jabbed Goemon in the ribs to make him shut up.

Goemon glared at Jigen. He hated getting stuck in the back seat with the man. He was so pushy.

"Don't," Jigen said, warning Goemon.

Goemon pouted angrily. Jigen never let him talk.

Lupin drove like a maniac to the airport, parking where he could and running from the car.

The cars piled up behind them, Lupin having parked in the middle of the road.

The loud honks covered up the obscenities Jigen spouted. He got out of the back seat and into the drivers seat, starting the car and finding a proper place to park.

The two then left the car and walked to the terminal.

They found Lupin and Fujiko standing together tonguing each other, Lupin groping Fujiko's chest flesh as the moans escaped both their lips.

Jigen and Goemon, along with everyone else around them, stood and watched in shock.

Annoyed, Jigen stomped towards the two and broke them apart. "Save it until you get home," he growled, shoving the two forward.

They got her bags and walked to the car.

Jigen was forced to drive, Lupin and Fujiko taking the back seat.

Goemon sat, embarrassed as kissing sounds and moans and short yelps filled the back seat.

"I swear if you two start to rip your clothes off I'm shooting you," Jigen yelled.

The two paused, Fujiko lowering her shirt while Lupin started to put his jacket back on and button up his shirt.

Goemon stared off out the window, trying to ignore the boner he now had.

...

The night for Lupin and Fujiko was filled with lots and lots of sex.

Jigen and Goemon took off, going their separate ways, Goemon to a quiet spot to meditate and Jigen to a bar.

Lupin laid on his back in bed, a smile on his face and drool trailing from the corner of his mouth.

He dreamed of being smothered by Fujiko's boobs. It was one of his best dreams.

The sun filtered in through the window and hit his eyes, waking him up from his awesome fantasies.

He moaned and covered his eyes with his arm, but it was too late. He was awake. Visions of tits faded.

Lupin opened his eyes and smiled. He didn't need fake boobs. He had all the boobs he ever needed sleeping right next to him.

He turned his head, Fujiko laying with her back to him. Sitting up, he rested a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey," he whispered, gently shaking her.

"Mmmm, what?" she mumbled, not wanting to get up.

He bent over and kissed the side of her head, peaking over at her boobs, but disappointed when they were covered with blankets.

Fujiko moaned and smiled. She opened her eyes and turned towards him.

He knew she wanted him and she knew he wanted her, the two laying there and smiling at each other.

Fujiko sat up, letting the blankets slide off her body as she loomed over him.

Lupin's smile faded, fright on his face.

Fujiko's smile faded. She moved closer to him and he moved farther away. "Lupin, what's-"

"What... what'd you do?" he asked, on the verge of anger and panic.

"What are you talking about?" she wondered, starting to get angry.

"Y-your boobs! What'd you do?"

Fujiko looked down at her flat chest and then looked back up at Lupin. "What do you mean?"

"They're small! Your boobs are small! What'd you do to them?"

"They were always this size," she answered, close to breaking down.

"No. No! No they weren't, Fujiko! They were..." He put his hands out in front of him and motioned as if he were cupping his own large breasts. "They were fucking huge! And now they're... they're non existent!"

Tears filled Fujiko's eyes. "Is this some kind of sick joke?" she growled.

Lupin could only watch as Fujiko stood and walked off to the bathroom.

He sat up in bed and held his head in his hands. "What is going on?" he asked to himself. "Why is this happening?"


	13. Chapter 13

Short chapter. I have no idea how to end this. xD Me and my "figuring out an ending" problem... But, don't worry, I won't let this one go on and on forever. Just one more, probably equally short, chapter left to this thing.

* * *

Dem Tits

-2-

Lupin looked around him, the various pictures of Fujiko from magazine and newspaper articles that he had saved showing her as he saw her.

Everything made sense to him. Fujiko had gotten a boob job for whatever reason.

But then he blinked, the boobs fading, flat-chested Fujiko's smiling back at him.

He screamed in anger, ripping the pictures up.

His body was tense as he paced the room. What did all of this mean?

"Can't be real," he muttered, eyes filled with anger staring off at the floor.

It was then he realized he had friends. Those friends would tell him that he wasn't crazy, that Fujiko had gotten her boobs chopped off.

...

"Guys," he said, finding Jigen and Goemon sitting at a table at the nearby club and interrupting their conversation as he sat down.

They looked at him in annoyance.

Now they were going to have to wait to see who among them was the best burper.

"I need to ask you guys something," Lupin said, his words forced out as he was still angry and frustrated by this whole ordeal.

Goemon looked down uncomfortably. He knew what this was all about.

Jigen took a drink of liquor and stared at Lupin, waiting.

"Fujiko always had big boobs, right?" He stared at the two seriously, waiting for them to prove he was right.

Jigen sighed. "Look, Lupin, I know that-"

"Just answer my question," he said loudly and quickly, his body shaking once again.

"She's never had..." Goemon cleared his throat in discomfort, unable to bring himself to say it. "She never had them," he said.

"She did, though!" Lupin glared at Goemon.

Jigen shook his head. "Sorry, man, but she's always been flat."

"No," Lupin said as he shook his head. "Her tits were always big!"

Jigen groaned. It was the last thing he wanted to do that night, argue with a friend over imaginary breasts. "Lupin, listen, okay? She's never had big tits. Never! They were never there!"

"They were! And they can't just disappear! So, where'd they go? Guys?"

Jigen threw his hands up in defeat.

Goemon coughed in embarrassment. "Jigen's right. She has always been flat. I kept trying to tell you that," he said as he glared at Jigen.

"And if you did, then this would have happened," Jigen said, motioning towards an hysterical Lupin.

Tears of pain and anger began to roll down Lupin's face. Unable to bear having his friends see him like that, he turned and ran off.

...

He strolled the streets as the rain began to fall, the rain that soon hid his tears of sorrow.

A car sped towards him and then screeched to a halt.

Lupin didn't notice as Zenigata jumped out and slapped cuffs on him.

"Ahaha!" Zenigata made sure to get into Lupin's face as he laughed.

Lupin didn't care.

Zenigata didn't like that Lupin wasn't phased, wondering what he was up to. "I'm throwing you in jail, Lupin! Forever!"

Lupin was silent as he glared off into the distance.

"And... and tonight you're getting the chair!" Zenigata said before laughing in Lupin's face once more.

"Can I ask you something?" Lupin gave Zenigata his most serious of serious looks.

Zenigata's laughter and smile faded. "What?" he growled.

"Did Fujiko ever have big tits?"

"Did she...?" Zenigata stared at Lupin in confusion. This confusion then gave way to loud laughter. To make it worse, Zenigata pointed a finger in Lupin's face as he continued to laugh.

Now Lupin was pissed. Pissed and confused.

Zenigata wiped the tears from his eyes as the laughter subsided. "She was... she..." He continued to laugh again. "She was always... always flat!" he finished before falling on the ground laughing.

"Fuck..." Lupin threw the cuffs to the floor in anger.

"Have you been drunk this whole time or something?" Zenigata laughed. "She's always been flatter than the plains. Flatter than a pane of glass. Flatter than... something that's really flat." More laughter and rolling on the ground followed.

Lupin glared down at him. He could not believe it.

Fujiko had made a fool out of him. And now she had to pay.


	14. Chapter 14

The final chapter to this strange thing.

* * *

Dem Tits

-3-

Lupin sat quietly inside the apartment. His eyes gazed at the far wall as the gears turned slowly in his head.

Lupin narrowed his eyes as he figured it out.

Fujiko had a twin. This whole time she was keeping her large breasted twin from him.

Or maybe his Fujiko was the large breasted one and as a trick she foisted her sad flat-chested twin on him.

Or maybe there was just one Fujiko. A Fujiko with very well made fake boobs.

No, that could never be it. Lupin was an expert in boobs. No way fake ones could get by him without notice.

So, then, what? What was the answer. Lupin hadn't a clue.

The door opened and Jigen wandered in. He stared at Lupin and sighed.

"She has a twin," Lupin said.

Jigen grabbed a chair and plopped down in it. "Nope, no twin."

"Body double."

"Not that, either."

"I saw them, though," Lupin said in a low growl. "I felt them. Squeezed them! They were there, damn it!"

"Look, Lupin..." Jigen sighed. What was he going to say to convince his friend of what was always the truth. "Sometimes... sometimes when a person wants something..."

"Is there a point to this?" Lupin muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Jigen.

"When a person wants something really bad, sometimes they can... imagine... these things that they want."

"Imagine them," Lupin scoffed. "Yeah, thanks for making me out to be some psycho nutjob."

"It's not..." Jigen sighed. "It's a perfectly normal thing for people to do. Like, if you're hungry, you imagine eating something."

"Or you just find some damn food and eat it," Lupin muttered.

"I don't know," Jigen said in annoyance. "It happens, though. And maybe that thing happened to you. Maybe... maybe you saw Fujiko as the most beautiful thing in the world and then imagined her having the one thing she lacked."

"No." Lupin stood, body tense, intense stare. "She had them. And I'm going to find out what she did with them."

Jigen watched as Lupin left the apartment. He looked away and sighed loudly. "Well, that plan worked..."

...

"Fujiko," Lupin sighed into the phone. "I just wanted to apologize. I was a dick to you. And I'm sorry. I promise it won't happen again."

He stared off and waited for her to answer. Saying all of this, all of these lies, was worse when done to a machine.

"Please, Fujiko, I'm really really sorry. And I just want us to get together and talk. If you could just meet me so I can explain... Or call me... Or something."

He sighed, about ready to end the call when Fujiko answered.

"Lupin," she said, her voice cracking as she held in her sobs.

"Fujiko." Lupin's grip on his phone tightened as his teeth ground into each other.

"I'm sorry, Lupin," she cried. "I should have-"

"No, no, you have nothing to be sorry for. I was the idiot. And I want to make it up to you."

"Wh-where are you? I want to see you, Lupin."

"I'm at the old apartment building on Fifth and Hurley. In apartment 216."

"Okay," she sniffed, the tears rolling down her reddened cheeks. "I'll... I'll be right there."

Lupin smirked evilly as the call ended.

...

Fujiko walked up the stairs and down the hall, stopping at the door with the worn 216 on it. She lifted her hand and knocked lightly on it.

As she waited for the door to open her mind thought on what she would say. Too involved with her thoughts, she never noticed the figure rising up behind her, the persons hand bringing a chloroform soaked rag to her face.

She struggled, but the person's arm wrapped tightly around her, not allowing her to move.

Almost a minute later she had fallen limp into the person's arms.

...

She woke up in a dark room. How long she had been out, she wasn't sure.

Her mind was still foggy, her eyes out of focus. She blinked a couple of times, vision coming into focus as she opened her eyes wider.

She found herself tied up, the chair she was bound to screwed securely to the floor. No matter how much she struggled, nothing gave.

"Finally awake."

She gasped, looking to her right as a figure appeared from the shadows.

"Lupin," she said in relief, glad to know he was there to help her. "I don't know what happened. A man came up from behind me and... I was... I..."

She stared at him as he walked into what little light was coming in from outside. It was enough to show his face, the evil grin that crept across it.

"Lupin?" she wondered, now afraid for her life.

Lupin walked up behind her, bending down and whispering into her ear. "Where are the tits?"

Fujiko's eyes opened wide, her heart beginning to race. She watched in fear as he slowly walked in front of her, his demanding gaze staring right through her.

"I... I... I never-"

"Don't give me that," he yelled, slapping her hard in the face. "You're going to tell me, Fujiko."

Fujiko whimpered as Lupin pulled out a short bladed knife.

"You're going to tell me what I want to know," he hissed as he got into her face.

He stared into her eyes, kissing her lips as he brought the knife to her face, gently gliding the blade over her left cheek.

"You're going to tell me what you did with your tits," he whispered into her ear, dark eyes staring over her shoulder as his lips curled into a devilish grin.

The End

* * *

Way too open and abrupt ending, I know. Haha, whatever, I don't think I really had a concrete resolution to this. I just saw the video and thought "This would be an awesome Lupin special." And it would be. Alas, Lupin has to be the world peace thief and Fujiko always has to have big tits. Oh, what could have been!


End file.
